"If we can keep him awake for more than 15 minutes at a time by injecting him with pure caffeine and amphetamines, at least that way he can field a few questions from Cameron."
A Labour MP was seen by several witnesses today at about lunchtime stealing money from a blind beggar's collection tin inside the Euston station terminal.
LONDON - England - Members of Parliament were in an ecstatic mood today after it was announced that a pigs trough would be installed in the House of Commons.
Ministers for all parties from now on will be expected to live in the new taxpayer funded housing schemes which will be implemented in June 2009 and will replace the second homes housing expenses fiasco that has caused such consternation.
Jacqui Smith's husband has revealed to a Parliamentary commission investigating the taxpayer funded pornography subscriptions, the extent of the depravity reached by the scandal rocking British politics.
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