"ANNALS OF TRANSPORT about hazmat tanker truck driver Don Ainsworth... Writer tells about his own history of bad driving and a driving class he took on a voluntary basis, rather than lose his license... These memories of bad-driver school ran through me in eastern Oregon after Don Ainsworth, at the wheel of his sixty-five-foot chemical tanker, gave some air horn to a step van that was coming fast up an on-ramp on a vector primed for a crash. A step van is a walk-in vehicle of the U.P.S. variety, and, like all other four-wheelers, from Jettas to Jaguars, in Ainsworth’s perspective is not a truck... Tells about Cabbage Hill, outside Pendleton, Oregon, which Ainsworth spoke aloud of because of its steep grade and switchbacks... Describes the drop... Coast to coast with Don Ainsworth was as calm an experience as sitting in an armchair watching satellite pictures of the Earth... Ainsworth is vain about his chemical tanker... He insists on cleaning it only at places that have either reverse-osmosis or deionized rinse water. He knows of three in the U.S. Mentions his collection of boots, including mule boots, eel boots, anteater boots, gator boots, and crocodile boots... Writer tells about feeling self-conscious when sitting in the truck-driver-only sections of cafes and restaurants, until he bought a cap with a bright-gold visor, a gold button at the top, a crown of navy blue, an American flag on the left temple, and—on the forehead emblem—a spread-winged eagle over a rising sun and a red-and-green tractor-trailer and the white letters "America—Spirit of Freedom." ...After that the glances disappeared when he sat... Ainsworth used to haul wine, orange juice, and chocolate. He mentioned a load of concentrated cranberry juice worth five hundred thousand dollars, a load of chocolate worth seven hundred thousand. He said orange-juice haulers sometimes carry sizing agents on the return trip (sizing agents control shrinkage in textiles). Very few companies carry both foods and chemicals even in completely separate tankers. Ainsworth remembers a California carrier with a fleet of about twenty trucks who carried paint thinner, washed, and then picked up wine. He said, "Your brother better be F. Lee Bailey if you’re going to engage in practices like that."... Tells about the dangers involved in cleaning out the interior of the tank between loads and describes the activity at the Spartanburg Tank Wash... Most owner-operators own just their tractors. They haul company trailers. In the hazmat-tanker business, Ainsworth knows of only one other driver who owns his whole truck... Briefly mentions that generally speaking, the seaminess of truck stops is in inverse proportion to their distance from major cities... I think it can be said, generally, that truckers are big, amiable, soft-spoken, obese guys... Tells how official scrutiny increased for hazmat drivers after 9/11... Tells about Ainsworth’s relationship with traffic police, which is wary... It has been ten years since his last speeding ticket... Tells about a delivery Ainsworth makes in Sumner, Washington, of monoethanolamine... Keywords: Trucks; Poison; Wall Street Journal (publ.); Prostitutes, Prostitution; Automobiles - General; Police - Traffic; Ainsworth, Don; Heat-Moon, William Least; Hazmats; Monoethanolamine; Truckstop Ministries Incorporated; World Trace Center bombing, 2001; Whitman, Yolanda; National Crime Information Center (N.C.I.C.); "